Ultimately, people matter more than things. Studies consistently show that achieving non-material goals such as building closer relationships with the people in your life is more fulfilling than acquiring material rewards.

So while your mother might love some flowers or a massage voucher this year, your best gift to her could be showing how much she’s valued and appreciated. Randi Smith, Psychology professor at Metropolitan State University of Denver (and loving daughter of an awesome 91-year-old mother) has some great suggestions.

Bring your mom in close to your family

Once you become a parent and have your own family, you face a daunting number of duties and responsibilities, and it can be easy for Grandma to become lost in the mix. But if you reach out to her, your mother could prove to be a really useful and valuable addition to your family unit.

Inviting your mom to play an active part in your children’s lives will give you some respite and help all of you — all three generations — grow closer. And remember: She has done this whole thing before (with you!), so seek her advice and guidance about any challenging circumstances and situations you encounter. She may well have wise counsel to share, and being asked will make her feel valued.

Carve out regular time together

You have your own life now, with a busy career, friends and, maybe, family. But even when time is short, it’s worth making the effort to occasionally schedule some quality time with your mom to do whatever you enjoy doing together, whether that’s a coffee, walk, shopping trip or even just a virtual chat.

Spending regular time together just doing “stuff” outside of the usual family dynamics is a great idea. It will help you step outside your respective mother-and-son or -daughter roles and simply enjoy each other’s company as people who like to hang out together.

Let go of the past

Nobody goes through a lifelong relationship with the person who raised you without building up a little baggage along the way. Most of us, for example, will still remember how our teenage selves bristled at Mom’s rules and expectations, while she was almost certainly horrified by some of our choices.

However, the adult version of the mother-and-child relationship could tell a different story. With a little work, you may be able to let go of past squabbles and uncomfortable dynamics and reset things on an equal footing based on empathy and mutual respect. Once you put that clunky baggage aside, you may find yourself with a really good friend who loves you and knows you like no other.

Reciprocate the love and support you were given

Think about reciprocity of care. When you were a kid, it was completely natural to expect your mom to do all the heavy emotional lifting — the leaning in, the tending, the checking that everything’s OK. Now, though, she would probably appreciate it if you checked in occasionally to make sure she’s doing well.

Like all other people, moms face their ups and downs, good days and bad, the usual challenges and upsets of modern living. And as they grow older, most would love it if your caring relationship developed into more of a two-way street. What’s more, you might too!

Remember: She’s more than just ‘Mom’

Even adult children often think of their mother as just “Mom,” rather than an interesting, autonomous person with their own needs and wants. Part of the joy of developing a fruitful relationship with your mom as an adult is getting to know other sides of her personality, the ones that are completely removed from her lifelong role of caring and fussing over you.

All of our moms had a whole other life before we were born. And even now, as the poem goes, they “contain multitudes.” It’s worth putting in the time and effort to discover all those extra layers and get to know that person.

RELATED: Mom on a mission

If you’re estranged from your mother…

Most people are lucky enough to enjoy a largely positive relationship with their mother, but sadly, there are also many whose maternal relationships have become strained or have even broken down completely. For them, Mother’s Day acts as a cruel reminder and can bring up feelings of longing, grief, guilt and even shame.

In such cases, you should try to find solace in other people. If there’s someone who stood in as a kind of surrogate mother, let her know how important she has been to you. Or get together with a good friend who understands the sadness and alienation that Mother’s Day brings into your life. It’s always beneficial to talk through such difficult times.

Honor the mom you lost

While it will inevitably be tinged with sadness, Mother’s Day can still be a special occasion for those whose mother has passed on. And when those people who loved your mom gather together, they will find many ways to remember her and recapture cherished memories.

Some quick suggestions: Talk about your mom with others — your siblings, her siblings, her friends — who were touched by her life. Cook one of her signature recipes. Buy yourself a bouquet of her favorite flowers. This beloved person touched your life so significantly, so try to make her presence felt again on this special day.